The Hypothetical Girl


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This is the part where you try to teach your mouth how to say it. How to say goodbye to a man who is a country where you wanted to emigrate. A man whose face was so familiar. This is the part where you realize: It is what it is. This is the part where you realize you will, in fact, take. See All Customer Reviews. Shop Books.


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Add to Wishlist. USD Sign in to Purchase Instantly. Usually ships within 6 days. About the Author. Hometown: Port Crane, New York. Date of Birth: June 13, Place of Birth: Indianapolis, Indiana. Education: B. Show More. Average Review. Write a Review. Related Searches.

On A Day Like This. A new novel of artful understatement about mortality, estrangement, and the absurdity of life from A new novel of artful understatement about mortality, estrangement, and the absurdity of life from the acclaimed author of Unformed Landscape and In Strange GardensOn a day like any other, Andreas changes his life. View Product. Sweet Talk. Readers have come to these stories over the years through word of mouth, posting glowing reviews I especially enjoyed the way you looked in that red turtleneck from Saks.

Her mother, in the beginning of her eighth relationship, which would soon morph into her eighth marriage she was certain , seemed to be on some sort of extended pre-marriage, pre-honeymoon vacation. Her ex was completely incommunicado. He did not answer texts, e-mails, or phone calls. His inbox was always full.

THE HYPOTHETICAL GIRL by Elizabeth Cohen reviewed by Michelle Fost

She had the sense they had communicated for the last time when he told her about his new girlfriend. She had forbidden him from seeing Emily, texting or speaking with her. Her sister, Sofia, was mad at her for some long-forgotten incident having something to do with an Albuquerque City Bond they jointly inherited from their father.

True, Emily had misplaced it. But she was sure it would turn up someday.

Of course, if she vanished before it did that could be a problem. For this reason she dared not contact Sofia.


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Calling her would be like purposefully dialing up an argument. Then she had somehow lost her cell phone. She could have tried to find them all, sent out some sort of frenetic e-mail to everyone she knew— Send numbers! All of this had happened in winter, and by spring, when the first flowers tested the air with their bright fingertips, purple and clementine and ruby red, she was just a slip of a thing.

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THE HYPOTHETICAL GIRL by Elizabeth Cohen reviewed by Michelle Fost • Cleaver Magazine

Like cellophane. She went out on her porch and sat on a small stool left there by the previous tenant. She looked all around at the ways things were coming into themselves. Then she felt something on her ankle. When she looked down she saw an ant crawling up to her calf. She flicked it back to the known world. For a time after that she became water. She was a pond, a stream, the gathered drops in the tub after a shower. It felt nice to be so cool and shiny. Then she became shadow. That had been nice also, to feel sewn to a heel, connected.

But then she disconnected and came loose and dried up. She had known the day would come. She walked by a store window and there it was, the absence of her presence. People not so different from the person she had been. A man with a dog on a leash passed right through her and she reached out to pet it, right along its golden retriever—ish spine. For the longest time the dogs had sensed her, but this dog did not sniff or turn or register her at all.

She walked home quickly, feverishly, trying hard not to panic. She walked her invisible self up the stairs to her apartment and let her invisible self inside.

The Hypothetical Girl

The phone was ringing, but how can a vanished person answer a telephone? The only thing to do, the only responsible, sane, and viable option she could think of was to go to bed. Dream dream dream of pain, of objects, of cold, of heat, of Jell-O, of potato latkes, of really really nice shoes. Dream herself back to the world. She swiftly brushed her invisible teeth. She tucked her invisible self into her bed. She shut her invisible eyes and tried hard to smell the soft and slightly lemony smell that had been the smell of herself.

She tried to feel her toes against the clean sheets. She tried not to be recently departed. She shut her invisible eyes and looked into the invisible dark. Somewhere in the distance she caught a glimpse of the girl she had been before she vanished and she thought she would like to send that girl a note, letter, an e-mail, or better, a telegraph:. Homepage photo credit: naiveartist via photopin cc. You are commenting using your WordPress.

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Notify me of new comments via email. Notify me of new posts via email. Menu Skip to content. For some time now Emily has been vanishing. This is why they have nannycams , Emily thought. What was his name? It was like a curse; he must have brought it on. Somewhere in the distance she caught a glimpse of the girl she had been before she vanished and she thought she would like to send that girl a note, letter, an e-mail, or better, a telegraph: Dear me.

Oney Plays Animated: Hypothetical Girlfriend

You were real. You had a few laughs. Homepage photo credit: naiveartist via photopin cc Share this: Twitter Facebook. Like this: Like Loading Leave a Comment Cancel reply Enter your comment here

The Hypothetical Girl
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