By active exercises, I mean practising mantras or writing or changing my lifestyle through diet and exercise. In other words, I like to move forward instead of think of the past so no thought journals! I am already this type of person. What do you think about all this? I keep thinking negative about others weak points and think about their weaknesses whether they be my close relatives or friends or my own family.
Becoming a loner and hating every one. Please help me by guiding me. This article is great! It has change the way I think drastically. I saved this in my phone for when ever I start my cycle of negative thinking. I want to thank you so much. I tend to dwell on one thing over and over until I start freaking out and then it gets worse. I loved your article, thank you so much. I think it will help so many people understand their own patterns of negative thinking and how to make those positive changes to a happier state of mind. I did just want to ask one question though, when would you switch from being the impartial observer of negative thoughts to actually using the techniques of mindfulness to change negative thinking?
Thank you so much. All whilst trying to save my marriage. I feel like a changed person after this. I appreciate it so much. So, how I can allow them to be and at the same time being detachment from thought processes? May I have authentic simple example to get the idea please? Thanks Abby. Hi, I want to thank you for this great post that I have been searching for for long time. Before reading this I did not know that I am having a problem with negative imagination, I used to think of it as day dreaming that I had to stop but could not.
Sometimes I think that someone will be harmed or will lose one of my beloved and start crying, other time I imagine something funny but not true and will not happen, I get angry of my self in both situations as I am living in a different world than reality.
I want to know how can I watch my thoughts and when I catch negativities, what should I do other than resisting them? Are there any techniques to keep myself fully aware of the moment? An last, if we would call this imagination a talent, how can I make use of it positively? Thanks, Nourhan. So, to become more aware, think of your thoughts as seeds, and you as the farmer. Hi, thanks for sharing your experience. I lose hope and fear another relapse, so I just allow myself to waddle in negative thoughts.. How did you pull through? Thanks a lot for this article. All what you wrote make clear sense, but I wished if you have touched on how to reach deep seated believes, and negative patterns which may stay out of reach of our awareness.
I was really suffering from this negative thoughts which was arising day to day.
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Thanks again!! I just want to thank you for your tips. You pretty much described me to the T! I should say it is completely brilliant article.
I thank you very much. I was not able to stay present due to a recent change that occurred in my life for which I was finding very difficult to adapt. Your article changed my perception and I could stay present and mindful much more easily now after reading your post. Dude, great post. Another big thing is talk to yourself as you would speak to your best friend if they came to you with your concerns.
I love your website!! I have spent years worrying about what others think of me when im talking to them. However i just need an affirmation that this will get easier as time goes on because I am having to keep forcing myself to stop my original thoughts and think the new way. If you can affirm this for me then I know I will be more empowered!! Hi Ang, mindfulness, like any skill definitely does get easier and easier over time with practice.
Thanks so much for your comment and wishing you all the best :. If I choose to be happy, then I become happy. I would never believe it myself if i didnt experience it. But it does come from trust and quietness and stillness first. Then I have room to grow. Like whether im capable or not?
Hi thank you so much for sharing such a great tips to over come negative thoughts.. I have been suffering these kind of ill thoughts leading to social anxiety, low self esteem, little pleasure in doing things, less motivation and depression. I have changed jobs after jobs to coz of this I have consulted doctor and awaiting face to face counselling to start, I have openly told my wife who is a strong character and supportive woman in my life.
I am starting a new job tomorrow and start practicing your tips from day one to observe my negative thinking and being aware of my negative thoughts and not to act accordingly. Thank You so much for Blogging this wonderful information. I have been fighting the negative thoughts for a long time and also the negative emotions as well. With your 4 Keys that you have talked about I can now watch and see what causing the reactions that I have.
I have to remind myself that it will take time and it is not one of these things that if fixed over night. But Time will help me a lot. Thank You again for taking the time and fore sharing with folks about what you went through and how to help others. My pleasure Rebecca. May it bring you as much inner freedom and contentment as it has brought me. All the best for :.
I feel a lot more trusting receiving advice from people who have similar morals not caring about body image rather than saying you need to change your body so people wont judge you etc and want to thank you for holding on when it will have been so tough to just have let go of life and give in. Thank you for your sakes and oursakes for being alive and living this beautiful, majestic, magical day. After all, you are good enough. We all are. Peace out, Sophie. Hi Sophie and thank you for such a beautiful comment.
Please do let me know how you go applying this. It works. Also check out this post on dealing with difficult emotions. It take s time and practice to become more and more aware of what is arising in our internal landscape.
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Mindfulness meditation practice will help you become more self aware if you want to give it a go. Overcoming negative thinking by putting in positive ones can be hard at first, but definitely worth it at the very end. This is really helpful. I have been involved with a woman about a year and a half now , who continually lies to me. Every time I think that she has changed, she does it to me again. I think of her constantly. My thoughts are obsessed with constantly trying to figure out the whys and ifs and whens. Our entire relationship began under an umbrella of deceit.
How do I stop thinking about this situation long enough to allow myself to get past it, so I can once and for all let this woman go? This may hurt but it sounds like the only person that is lying to you is yourself. You deserve better than having been in a bad for so long. Prepare yourself through the advise of this column not to continue or fix this relationship but make some positive adjustments with yourself so the start of the next relationship is predicated on respect.
I had an abusive childhood which caused me many many deep and long term emotional problems. After spending most my young adult life in and out of therapy I finally found Buddhism and meditation.
I am now showing great improments though mindfulness. However, I have a hard time identifying and categorizing my negative thoughts in efforts to acknowledge them and address them. If your not finding it helpful to label thoughts then just drop that part of the practice. As you watch the thoughts and emotions they lose their grip on you. You might gain from also reading this blog post about working with difficult emotions.
This was exceptionally helpful, thank you. I have struggled with these cycles of destructive negativity for years, affecting relationships, work and my own capacity to feel happy. I think that having read this I can start on my own journey to learn how to be happy again, grateful for all that I have and have achieved, and not dwell constantly on the loss, grief and trauma. So, truly, thank you! Hey Beno, seeing this comment made my day.
Wishing you all the best my friend. I often feel negative about sharp things around me and make me feel uncomfortable……. Hi Salman. We all have our different fears and worries. How do we want to relate to the thoughts and emotions that are arising in the present moment? We can choose new ways of relating to difficult thoughts and emotions. We can respond to them mindfully. Give this article a read as well.
It will teach you how to deal with negative emotions mindfully and gain a new perspective on the negativity as it arises. Thanks for the reference article, I have read this article many time and it was really very helpful and it help me to realize that I am not my fear and I have to be more generous toward my negative emotion rather than fight back. As I was trap in the negativity for quite long more than 5 years so it is very persistent within me, but I have to take care of it and Insh Allah soon this wounded part will be recovered fully.
Hi Salman, yes, you are not your fear! You are not your negative emotions, but still, we all need to learn to work more skilfully when these difficult emotions and thoughts arise. The best advice i could ever give you my friend, is to go ahead an begin learning the practice of mindfulness. Begin a daily practice even if it is only short 10 or 15 mins a day and you will get better and better able to handle the challenges of life both inner and outer ones. The best way to learn would be to find a local course or retreat to learn with a skilled teacher.
Where do you live? Is these a way you can learn locally? Or perhaps you could simply begin with the free meditations i provide upon signup to my newsletter. Mainly low self esteem. I feel that I need a lot of support from my family. How can I ask them to support me? I find it so ordinary and my brain is just so focused on the next target.
Hii, I am also In a situation of negative thinking all the time and I will surely try out this method but I am a little confused in the choosing constructive or destuctive thoughts part, what exactly I have to do in that part. Please help me out. Hi, Wasim. I find one way to really generate constructive thoughts rather than destructive ones is to first of all notice if i am ruminating or worrying. These kinds of questions re-orient the mind and generate new kinds of thoughts, new perspectives and new ways of responding to life.
I hope this is helpful. Thanks so much for sharing some key tips. It feels refreshing getting a new sense of hope for my negative thinking. One question i have, i keep hearing that i should not try to fight or push negative thoughts and as you said be an impartial observer, but how exactly can i do that?
Thanks…even i m goinh thru something like dis…unsure n confused most of d timez.. My pleasure honey. I truly hope it helps. Hi Sarah, your so welcome. I hope these 3 keys help you to live a more peaceful, contented and happy life. Let me know how you go! Thank you so much I so enjoy your input and wisdom. I am very grateful that you share yourself with us all. Thank you for posting this! I read this post around a week ago.
I often spend so much time in my own head, the thoughts become so over whelming they make me question my whole life and sometimes I act on the emotion and make irrational decisions, but my 10 year relationship to the father of my children suffers the most. Im making some lasting changes, my relationship has been brilliant , I feel so close and at ease.
Much love. Your email address will not be published. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Seek those who fan your flames. Why do we so often struggle to see and know directly that we are already enough? Love is the absence of judgement. Start your journey into a more mindful life.
Join over , others and enjoy high quality articles, masterclasses and teachings on mindful living delivered directly to your inbox. Book your mindfulness retreat today and learn meditation and the art of mindful living in a beautiful, tranquil location. Enjoy healthy food and learn valuable skills that will last a life time. The Four Keys all work together to create mental resilience and a calm, clear mind. I get out of my head and into my life more on this in key two As soon as you name the mental story or pattern, you have now stepped back from being caught up in it.
Is this thought in any way useful or helpful? Is it true? Does this thought help me take effective action? Is this though helpful or is my mind just babbling on? What is the truth? My deepest truth? What do I really want to feel or create in the situation? How can I move towards that? How can I make the best of this situation? Who would I be without this negative thought? What new story or thought can I focus on now?
How can I see this in a different or new way? What can I be grateful for in this moment? Stay in the Moment Facebook. Hi, Thank you. Tracy on June 25, at pm. Programy torun on March 4, at am. I was able to find good advice from your blog posts. Verlie Boileau on March 1, at am. Will try it out. Michelle on January 7, at pm. Thank you very much for this. God Bless you and your heart always. Mica Bertolino on December 29, at am. Mary Assy on December 23, at am. I cannot thank you enough for the article post. Thanks Again. Will read on… Reply.
Matthew Smith on December 3, at am. Tanuja on November 20, at pm. Hi Melli, Thank you so much for sharing. Luke Drummond on November 11, at pm. Thank you Reply. Lawrence on October 18, at pm. Thanks Reply. Michael on October 1, at am. Cobus on September 30, at pm. Sanskruti ASM on September 24, at pm.
Garry on September 24, at am. Paulette on September 19, at am. Kelvin on July 13, at am. Thanks so much Reply. My wife used to take pain killers everyday for anything! Number of pain killers since December ? I simple word would trigger certain emotions as she would have images in her mind some of which would only last a fraction of a second. Placebo effect? Who cares, no doctors were able to help my wife.
Call it whatever you want, the quality of her and my life improved immensely thanks only to EFT. So what that years later someone will explain why it works and will give a different reason that there is now. If it works for someone, just use it. The reason why more than 4 million people in many countries use EFT including more enlightened professionals is because it works. The old and tired methods not to mention expensive and often useless of endless years of couch therapy sometimes accompanied by drugs with harmful side effects is no longer acceptable to the masses.
And its about time we move on to better, more holistic methods. As many people know who tried EFT seriously, EFT works, but the explanation why it works hurts many people and creates skepticism. I also like the fact, it is very well explained why this method works in scientific terms. Hopefully this will increase the adoption and help many people around the word. I, myself, am a fan. A few of my personal highlights: healing depression it took a little while but it worked, no other psychological therapy but a few extra energy-psychology techniques , straightened a crooked leg again, took a little while but the body made the physiological improvements , I ended a long-series of almost-annual nervous breakdowns and became optimistic and resilient.
Also gone is a fear of heights, public speaking, spiders, and I lost my shyness. How could tapping do this? I thought a lot about this. Talk about a rut! There are several biological pathways this feedback takes to re-demonstrate what had been learned, and as long as we trust the feelings being presented to conscious awareness, we may do nothing about it and we will always make up the story as to why we do what we do based on the model of the universe we are subscribing to. I also figured out that all positive psychology was the expression of positive biology.
But this is just me trying to figure out what tapping does. I finally concluded that it was disturbing the feedback system, or a major part of it, enough so that I could demonstrate or even imagine a different response and modify the output feedback. Since the body is already naturally wired for peace and elevated states of consciousness, disturbing old feedback patterns allows those natural states to return, to restore balance, synchrony, and coherence in the brain that itself re-entrains the body back to natural states of health and vitality—the healing process. I had a few books on it, and a self help one.
I felt ripped off. I was reading how you can do the butterfly technique where you fold your arms and tap either side of your body alternately. Or you can tap your legs. I had a lot of anxiety at the time and a very heavy workload. I usually only had time to do the EMDR tapping in bed before sleeping. Due to exhaustion I tap my legs alternatively, but then that got tiring so I started moving my toes alternatively.
Apparently, any type of alternating movement or tapping will work. Francine Shapiro, the inventor of EMDR, cured herself by accident from her chronic malaise by focussing on a pond with ducks on. She wondered why this had cured her and then she realised that her eyes had been darting backwards and forwards looking at the ducks on the pond. I soon realised that moving my toes alternately had similarities to waking.
So the next day as I walked I concentrated on the alternating movement of my legs. I realised that as everyone walks they naturally do EMDR without realising it, like the Francine Shapiro did when she cured herself. Of the great many alternative therapies I beleive some forms of meditation are arguably more effective than EFT and its derivatives..
Are you going to start operating on yourself too and kick yourself when you end up worse than before? Wow, you are pathetic! Alex, you are bias. Like many, you see an alternative treatment that has evidence behind it, but you only research one study that is questionable. There is always room for more studies, but your arrogance is really what hurts people. EFT is not the solution for everyone, but it can be an alternative treatment or even an addition to their current treatment. Looks like you were right to be sceptical of this BBC piece. A couple of problems here. Driving trauma deeper makes you worse not better.
What exactly? All existing treatments are equally problematic. Sorry Andrew, you have got it all wrong. I use the original tapping technique TFT and I do not use affirmations at all. It still works because the cure is from the tapping effect which gives the body an almost instant relaxation according to what you are focused on at that very moment. I have helped traumatized people in 25 countries and NONE became more traumatized afterwords.
The contents of this article can be summarized as: 1. There is no proof that eft works 2. This is a very poor basis for claiming that eft is dangerous. You can say many things against this, such as: are the traditional treatments always effective? Clearly they are not. How much time is lost for a patient when eft would not work? Very little Can eft be combined with traditional techniques? It seems so. Yet that is what psychiatrists do over and over again. Of course maybe that does help some people, but there is no evidenc to suggest it does. But Dosh, how does your Ad Hominem demonstrate the veracity of the arguments being presented in the paper being critiqued here and the critique of EFT in general, you appear to be attacking the authors character by making unfounded assumptions in respect of his motivation for writing the article.
This is a well known tactic used by those in the faith healing and vitalism industry, formally known as the the Pharma Shill Gambit. This is brilliant. Thanks for showing this to me. I went to psychiatrist who dressed like a flasher complete with trenchcoat and started the session by criticizing what I was wearing, proceeded to make little eye contact and then prescribe a drug that had dangerous side effects. Needless to say I did not return as I believe he needed more help than I did. I have found EFT to be effective in curing a phobia of crossing bridges and the need to see dodgy medical professionals.
I went to see a psychiatrist who dressed like a flasher, complete with trenchcoat, who started the session by criticizing what I was wearing, proceeded to make little eye contact and then prescribed a drug that had dangerous side effects. I have found EFT to be effective in curing a phobia of crossing bridges and the need to see dodgy medical health professionals. EFT is a therapeutic therapy. My EFT practitioner advise me in the beginning that i must continue my treatment with my GP and see him as an extra help at emotional side.
But I have taught it to many of my clients as a self help technique and the vast majority of them have found it helpful. I also agree that a lot of the scepticism comes from the explanations that have been given as to how it works. I agree that evidence is important but value should also be given to anecdotal evidence. If the placebo effect works, use it. I am a hypnotist in private practice and use EFT as part of that. I certainly do not advise people against conventional medicine. This is an incredible ignorant article, and of course it comes from a psychiatrist… a profession where they believe that the can find illness by watching people rather than measuring if something is wrong.
Psychiatry is the essence of quackery and has never cured a single case. Medications cannot cure traumas which is the the most common reason for psychological distress. Exposure cannot cure the fundamental reasons either. If a pilot get scared of flying you do not tell him that he need to fly more to get rid of it. If a female is scared of looking men in the eyes because she was raped at 11 years old, you do not cure the effects from the incident by forcing her to look men in the eyes until she is not scared anymore.
If you try that it is unnecessary and torture like. Tapping can solve this easily, quickly, without danger or medications. I have done so with more than people in 25 countries. Please spare us from this type of articles that comes from people who after years of studying still cannot get the same results as tapping and is based on fraudulent science according to Dr. Peter Goetsche who is leader of the nordic part of the Cochrane Association independent researchers on scientific findings. Perhaps I am an exception. In the absence of accurately measuring that exactly the same force is applied using a Newton meter pehaps?
Psychiatric medicines are not evidence based and relies on placebo as well. When controlled for this in longer studies the psychiatric treatment always fares worse than basically anything. But eft is bs as well. Dueling pianos. Far worse. Psychiatry has done far more harm besides some religions to the masses.
Dangerous medications that change brain chemistry, no test for mental illness, yet your arguing its bs. OKAY lol. Poor Alex Langford! What a shame that you do not have an open mind or an open heart!click
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If you truly wish to help anyone heal their mind you would do well to cultivate both. I am put in mind of a conversation I witnessed whilst working at Harperbury Hospital, Yes, I really am that old! So, as a sceptic how do you feel you have the authority to comment on a technique that will require a little faith in things beyond our current understanding of the world and ourselves? Here endeth the lesson….! See you have to be able to laugh at yerself…. A career in comedy awaits. Interesting discussion here reading both points of view. I personally suffered from a type of major anxiety disorder which crippled my life.
In my experience psychiatric medication has been a life saver for me despite the side effects, for me the sideffects were nothing compared to the psychiatric symptoms. For some people medications are great, but for others it may not work. In my understanding from the research i read i find that Antidepressants are most benefitted for those with Serious depression or psychiatric illness.
The mild to moderate patients can recover with Therapy and lifestyle changes. For my case being severe, i would prefer to stay with psychiatric treatment than rely alternative medicine, this is my view because in my years of trying alternative approaches like EFT, herbs etc none of them were able to relieve my psychiatric issue on their own. Infact whenever i reduced my antidepressant dose i relapsed. For me EFT was not at all effective, maybe during the session i felt better to some extent but didnt change anything.
I believe for many people it has a placebo effect. However i believe from my experience certain herbs and nutritional supplements can have good effects on stress and depressive issues as an Addition to the primary psychiatric treatment. I take Vitamin C mg, Niacin mg and adaptogenic herbal formula which all help me generously when taken along with my Antidepressant.
I narrowed down to these supplements by reading research papers and other articles and finally using them trial and error.. Alex Langford has written above a logical article and used very sensible arguments that make use of the scientific method to debunk that commercial abuse being dumped on poor helpless and gullible people who would be attached to anything in order to reduce stress and anxiety.
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After a tramatic breakup from a longterm relationship, I sank into the first depression of my life. I tried 2 different therapists over 6 months and anti-depresants that caused awful side effects. I lost 26 lbs and was in a frequent state of sadness, anxiety, sleeplessness and recurring thoughts about my ex. I was completely skeptical about tapping, I mean seriously how could it work? Bottom line, I went to a qualified practitioner and it worked. Harvard has studied it and found it worked in many cases. Are more studies needed, of course. I am not saying it will work for everyone, but for me it was a solution when talk therapy and meds failed.
For me, it was safer, more effective and overall less expensive. I just had to jump in here — what a load of retards on this thread — and thanks and brave of Alex for leaving all the responses up. Educate yourself. If you believe in EFT, fine, believe in it. This is not science. Same when you get on a plane. You know it will fly. Anymore than the placebo effect.
It all helps and adds up to helping you heal. As an EFT practitioner and the producer of the movie The Tapping Solution , it's a question I've been asked repeatedly over many years. In fact, you'll often hear me refer to EFT as "this strange tapping thing. In partnership with Dr. David Feinstein, Dr. Church has been able to confirm that tapping on specific meridian points has a positive effect on cortisol levels.
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Cortisol, known as the "stress hormone," is integral to our body's "fight or flight" response. Originally designed to help us survive life in the wild, the "fight or flight" response was essential when our ancient ancestors were faced with sudden, brief danger like, let's say, a tiger. However useful in short bursts, releasing cortisol too frequently, as we seem to be doing in response to the ongoing or "chronic" stress of modern life, may have serious, even scary, impacts on our physical, mental and emotional health. In fact, living in this kind of biological "survival mode" may be making us more vulnerable to everything from cancer to heart disease, and more.
In Dr. Church's study , 83 participants were separated into three groups. One group was guided through an hour-long EFT session, the second group received an hour of talk therapy, while the third, the control group, received no treatment. The group that did an hour of EFT demonstrated a 24 percent decrease in cortisol levels, while the other two groups showed no real change. The EFT group also exhibited lower levels of psychological symptoms, including anxiety, depression, and others, as measured by the Symptom Assessment SA , a standard psychological assessment tool.
Research suggests that EFT may be so effective because of its perceived ability to balance out the nervous system, leveling off the activity of the parasympathetic and sympathetic regions. Responsible for promoting cell regeneration and relaxation, the parasympathetic region helps to slow your heartbeat, support digestion, and more.
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